Say Goodbye
by HoloGhost
Summary: L spends one last night with the person he values the most.


**Disclaimer: i do not own death note**

* * *

Was it eight years ago that she last saw that gate? To her, it felt like a lifetime. Hundreds of memories swirled inside her head. Some of which were full of sadness and the long-lasting ones were of happy time. But the most vivid of them all, were her memories of him.

Different emotions surged through her-anxiety, excitement, apprehension- that she didn't even realise she had arrived at Watari's office. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the room. It looked like the way it always did. An ordinary office with a homely feel to it. The only thing that changed was the man sitting on the large desk.

"It's good to see you again, Roger" she greeted the old man with a warm smile.

"It's good to see you too" he waved his hand to a chair. His eyes followed as she took her seat. "You have become a fine young woman, my dear. A successful one too. Everyone at Wammy's is proud of you"

"Aw, thank you Roger. I've been working really hard."

Roger didn't speak for a while, then finally, with a smile on his face, he said, "Nero, you've been gone for too long. The children will be delighted to hear that you are here" Roger's use of her old nickname made her smile even more.

"I'll go to them later. I really missed them, too. Especially Mello. That box of chocolate I sent helped to persuade him on staying here at the orphanage, didn't it? But first things first" she was suddenly serious. "Roger, did he request me to come here? Did he call for me? This never happened before. Normally he would contact me personally or through Watari. Did something happened to him, Roger?"

"Calm down, Nero. You're acting like a child. No, not just you, all of you Wammy kids." he said with a chuckle "Very well, I don't want you to worry anymore so I'll be direct. Yes, he asked for you to come here. He said he wants to talk to you before leaving to solve a new case"

Nero felt her heart skip a beat. What Roger had said made her worry more for he had just confirmed her fear. There's no mistaking it. He wouldn't-no, he couldn't resist a case such as this. Knowing him, he'll do anything to win. Even if he…

"Nero?" Roger was suddenly next to her, shaking her shoulders "What's the matter? You've gone pale"

"N-nothing" she stood up and headed for the door without looking at the old man "When and where should we meet?" she asked.

"He said, 'the usual'. He told me that you'd know."

As expected. "I understand' finally she looked back at Roger with a smile on her face." I'm going to see the children now" with that she walked out of the door.

* * *

_On her third night at the orphanage, he went knocking on her door._

"_Ms. __Nero?" he whispered from outside. The eight-year old crossed her arms, annoyed._

"_My name is not Nero" she whispered back._

"_Hm? Then what is?"_

_She didn't answer his question._

"_I'll just call you Miss Nero then since you are fond of the color black. Did you know that nero is black in Italian?" he continued._

"_Hmp!"_

_There was silent giggling._

"_Anyway," the boy said, "I want to show you something"_

_Her curiosity was aroused, but she refused to speak. She was still annoyed at her nickname. There was a long silence. She had thought the boy had gone until he spoke again._

"_Ms. Nero?"_

"_If call me that one more time, I'll call you Panda!"_

_Silence._

"_Hm? Why panda?"_

"_Because your eyes look like a panda's"_

_Longest silence ever._

_Worrying that she had offended him, she threw open the door and found the skinny boy staring at her with his big round eyes. Even at a young age, he already had bags under his eyes. It made her think whether he was having nightmares and couldn't sleep. He sniffed. Only then did she notice that he was holding back tears. She smiled at him then and said, "But don't worry, I like pandas". it wasn't long before he smiled. That tiny smile stirred something inside her that she didn't understand at that time. But she immediately knew, that she liked making him smile._

* * *

It was now midnight. Just like on that night so many years ago. Wammy's House was dead silent. The only sound heard was the rustling of the trees. Laying on the floor, Nero watched the stars through the attic's skyline. This was the place he had brought her to that night. Only she and her Panda knew about it. It was in this place where they shared their secrets and told their troubles to each other. It was on the very spot she lay now, that she finally told him her name. He smiled then and held out his hand. "My name is L Lawliet. I'm glad you told me your name. Now, we can be real friends. And since we're friends, I'm not going to call you Ms. Nero anymore. From now on, I'm going to call you just Nero" she laughed at the memory. Silly boy. She had thought he would call her-

"Vanessa?"

A shock travelled through her body. Thought it was not the voice she remembered, she had no doubt whose it belonged to. She sat up slowly and without turning, she whispered, "L?" he sat next to her, left leg folded underneath him and his arm draped casually over his right knee. It took sometime before Vanessa could make herself look at his face. And when she did, she memorized every detail of it. The paleness of his skin, his intense dark eyes, and his soft thin lips. She smiled at him and ran her fingers through his messy mop of hair. For a second, he smiled. Then, his face returned to its usual blank look.

"You have a sad smile. I have an idea why. It is because of me, correct?" he said.

Vanessa took her hand back and looked back at the stars. "I can't stop you from taking this case, but please, L, don't put your life at risk" The first drops of tears slid down her cheeks. "I know you'll do something daring. You'll probably confront him directly. Promise me you won't put you life in line. I can't take it if I'll lose you." she looked at him then. His expression was soft. Eyes half-closed and lips up tilted. He reached out and brushed her tears.

"I'll make sure that I will win" he said simply. Vanessa let out a frustrated sight. That was not the answer she hoped for.

"Listen to me," L said, "You have every right to get angry at me, although that is true I can't help but to be hurt if you get upset with me. However, I cannot do what you're asking of me. There are hundreds of people being murdered even as we speak. The killings will not stop unless we take action. As a detective, I will do anything that is within my power to end this mass murder. Although I can't promise you not to put my life in danger, I promise you this, I will capture Kira and then return to you"

"L…" she tried to speak, but what should she say?

L fished around his back pocket and brought out a folded piece of paper. 'For now, this is what I'll give you. But when I return, I'll give you the…real thing"

Vanessa took the paper and opened it.

"**LAWLIET**"

"What's this?" Vanessa asked not sure if she was being played.

"My name" he answered casually.

"What do you-" and then it hit her. Could it really be? He'll give me his name, does he mean…?

"Hm. Vanessa Lawliet" L said. Stopping her train of thought. "I admit, it has a nice ring to it. Don't you think so?"

She couldn't help herself any longer. She buried her face on L's shoulder and cried her heart out. L froze for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her. He brushed away her tears with his thunb. "I thought you'd be happy with this news, but, it seems that I am wrong"

Vanessa shook her head against his shoulder. "No." came her muffled reply. "No. you're not wrong. I'm happy. Very happy."

"Then you should be smiling" Before she could do anything else, L tilted Vanessa's head up and covered her lips with his. The gesture shocked her. In the past it was always she that made the first move. Even in the simple act of holding hands. "Let's not think about the future, shall we? Instead, let's enjoy our rare time together" he said-the purr in his voice sending shivers throughout her body- before taking possession of her lips again.

* * *

Vanessa sat up, pulling the white blanket over her naked body. She looked around the room, looking for L. But he wasn't there. As she scanned the room one more time, a note taped on the door caught her eye. She took it and read it.

"My beloved Nero, Forgive me for leaving this way. I wanted to say goodbye to you. But you were sleeping so peacefully that I couldn't make myself to wake you. You were tired last night, after all. You need to rest. At any rate, I'm content to have left something for you to remember me by. I don't need to explain to you what I mean. I'll be back. Wait for me. Only Yours, L"

Vanessa clutched the paper to her chest. Silent tears flowing down her cheeks. "Oh, L" she whispered. A shiver ran through her body. But it had nothing to to with the chilly morning air. The heavy feeling in her heart returned. "Will you really come back?" she asked. The silence screamed an answer she'd rather not hear.

* * *

**Enjoy! Thanks for reading.**


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